What is the cost of my own hurry?

Despite all my ongoing efforts to simplify, I’m still hurrying too often each week.

So what is going on? Why do I hurry so much? I’ve been reflecting on this, and the answer seems to be that my mind has a tendency towards greed. This isn’t greed in the sense that I want a lot of wealth … but my mind finds something it likes and it wants more. Always more.

~ Leo Babauta from, Why I’m Always in a Hurry, & What I’m Doing About It

My greed isn’t for wealth—it’s the compulsion to fill every gap with something. The skill I need to nurture is discrimination: What experiences are valuable? What pursuits are valuable? There’s almost always a faster way, but is it ever the better way?

No man who is in a hurry is quite civilized.

~ Will Durant

Festina lenta is a phrase I once used as my touchstone for a year. It means, to make haste s l o w l y. It’s inherently ridiculous, but also points to the very old and very excellent point about taking one’s time. It’s an antidote to the venoms busy and hurry.

I was aching for what came next. I felt my whole life stretched out before me like an invisible buffet. I turned toward my future, mouth watering.

~ Amy Poehler from, Take Your Licks

I love the visceral feel of that. The feeling that, in just a few moments, I will turn a corner and I’ll be able to see down the next street. While there’s nothing wrong with this current street, I do recall what it’s like to long to look around that next corner. That hunger is real, but I’m learning not to fully give myself over to it.

By the time it came to the edge of the Forest the stream had grown up, so that it was almost a river, and, being grown-up, it did not run and jump and sparkle along as it used to when it was younger, but moved more slowly. For it knew now where it was going, and said to itself, “There is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”

~ A. A. Milne

I often mention water. And it’s exactly this sort of grown-up water that draws me most strongly.

Because we can’t say no—because we might miss out on something if we did. We think “yes” will let us accomplish more, will give us more of what we want, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek. All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want.

~ Ryan Holiday from, How To Say “No”: Advice From The World’s Most Powerful Man

Accepting and rejecting are two sides of the same coin. All of my problems came from saying “yes” without true intention, and being unable to clearly say “no.” I needed to learn those two separate skills, and then to balance them. I said yes to everything, then no to everything, and now—when I get the balance right—I can feel the harmony.

All this hurrying from place to place won’t bring you any relief, for you’re traveling in the company of your own emotions, followed by your troubles all the way.

~ Seneca

The mastery level of, “no,” and, “yes,” is to go beyond reacting to life—choosing which tool to use in each situation. Instead, I’m learning to be intentional in my use of no and yes, creating space to simply see life as it is.

This vignette, seen in a certain way—as though it is happening, but not happening to me—can be just what it is, without any entanglement with my own interests. None of my reflexive moral judgments are present. The angle of the sun doesn’t remind me of everything I still have to get done today. Seeing twenty-year-old students doesn’t make me wish I was younger. Because I’m not here. It’s just life unfolding, and on its own it’s beautiful.

~ David Cain from, How To See Things As They Are

The world moves at its own pace, not always faster or slower than mine; it somehow contains all the speeds, and is always unhurried. Meanwhile, I’m capable of hurrying at various speeds. Sitting still and noticing the pace of the world always provides me with the perspective I need to escape my hurry.

…and that brings us to the end of 151 issues of 7 for Sunday. 7 for Sunday started nearly three years ago. I hoped you enjoyed reading them. I know I certainly enjoyed writing them. I’m going to simply pause here, with issue number 151.

Thanks for reading.

I appreciate your time and attention, and I don’t take it for granted.

ɕ