Have you read Quiet by Susan Cain? It was a quake-book for me; but I think you have to be an introvert to get that effect from it. If I had to summarize its point, it would be that introversion is about how one recharges and not—as commonly described—about how one shows up around others.

But despite her surface sociality, Macaulay embodied the true test of an introvert — not whether one engages in social activity, but whether one is charged or drained by it. In an essay titled “Departure of Visitors,” she exults in the pleasure of being at last left alone: “An exquisite peace obtains: a drowsy, golden peace, flowing honey-sweet over my dwelling, soaking it, dripping like music from the walls, strowing the floors like trodden herbs. A peace for gods; a divine emptiness.”

~ Maria Popova, from The Pleasure of Being Left Alone

When I read Quiet a critical puzzle-piece clicked into place. The revelation was startling. It was so obvious once I saw it. Countless, personal stories of social interactions gone wrong—sometimes horribly, painfully, permanently—suddenly made sense. A life-altering huhn, followed by a new sense of control over the course of my life.

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.

~ T.H. White

Why do I say a sense of control? Whereas in the past, situations sometimes took a terrible turn, suddenly I understood why they took the turn they did! That’s frickin’ empowering.

[Obsessive Compulsive Disorder] is only one of the ways in which I work against myself. I am a procrastinator. When writing, I constantly break my focus by scrolling, and I experience an urge to check email when I want to spend quality time with my children. I am also an addict. Not a pathological addict, but a normalised everyday addict. I’m hooked on screens (though I don’t own a smartphone) and use alcohol to switch off in the evenings (though I drink less than the recommended weekly allowance). I’m addicted to producing and achieving, too; to ticking things off to-do lists, to busyness, to filling every second – even as I crave time and space to reflect.

~ Eliane Glaser, from Me versus myself

When speaking with podcast creators about recording conversations, it’s common to be asked, “How do I have a good ending?” I say: Start answering that question by identifying the ways you can have a bad ending. (For example: When you realize the conversation is dragging, stop there. That would be a bad ending.) Then don’t do those things. Eliminate all the bad ways it can end. Then, although it won’t always be a good ending, it will be good more often than before.

Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think that if we had every comfort available to us, we’d be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we’re so comfortable we’re miserable. There’s no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. We get in a car, we get in an elevator, it all comes easy. What I’ve found is that I’m never more alive than when I’m pushing and I’m in pain, and I’m struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there’s a magic.

~ Dean Karnazes

Sometimes people tell me that my answer above—about good versus bad endings to conversations—is backwards. I should change my answer and rewrite my grammar. No. It’s not possible to actively create a good ending to a conversation. Trying to do that is endlessly frustrating.

The best thing one can do, and now I’m not talking just about conversation and podcast creation, is to avoid actively making it bad. Avoid setting oneself up for failure.

The moth is attracted to the flame — it’s like fame — but it gets burned. So, the flame can be success or failure, but you have to stay away from that. It does not mean anything. It means that you have to keep flying, growing, learning. But we live in a world where the attraction, the spotlight, the jewel, the gold is so huge, that people get into the flame…

~ Javier Bardem, from Javier Bardem

Ph-fffffft indeed. Straight into the negative outcome, while fixated on the positive goal. The road to Hell and those damning, good intentions.

Your intention should be something that really lights you up. You need to feel it in your chest, in your gut. It is the verb that connects you to your audience, the umbilical cord that takes your energy to them and brings theirs back to you. Intention is action.

~ Angie Flynn-McIver

Which of our habits, past choices, current possessions, and recurring thoughts serve us? Which do not? How do we decide, and how can we keep the former and set down the latter?

And yet, it’s not rest alone that made the idea arrive, but the oscillation of effort and rest.

~ Mandy Brown, from The unconscious machine

Balance comes up repeatedly here in 7 for Sunday, and I think there’s no room for argument about the need for mental and conceptual balance in our lives.

And I’ll go farther: Balance cannot be static. Balance can only be achieved dynamically, in motion, in cycles between light and dark, between movement and stillness.

Until next time, thanks for reading.

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